2002-01-25 - 2:58 p.m.

I am broke. There's no way around it at this point, I'm out of money. This has led to an interesting event: my application, and interview, at a local denny's. I may, if I am really lucky, get the job, too. I am actively hoping that they can use me. This is not meant to be an expression of disdain for Denny's, or for the people that work there, as if I am too good for them, but rather a recognition that, in the world of waitering, there is a definate heirarchy, both in terms of quality of food, and likelihood o making money. Denny's ranks squarely at the bottom. But I'm also desperate. I've sworn off fast food, partly for dietary, partly for health, partly for weight management, but mostly because I don't have a dime in my pocket. I'm going to have to borrow more money from my parents, which will sink me deeper into a debt I should have long been free of. It makes me very angry, really. The main problem, aside from the lack of available work around here, is my schedule. I'm in South Pacific right now, it's a great show and I'm reuniting with good actors I've worked with before, but it doesn't pay. It does, however, take up most of my nights. Means I can't work at Bones (I wouldn't be making any money there anyway), but also limits where I can work as well. I'm teaching little kids to act, pays $10 an hour, but I don't get the money until April, when the class ends. It's only $240 all together. I can pick up $25 by helping Curtain Call with the set on their next show, but that will be another 5 hours of work I probably can't spare, if I get Denny's. Basically, I'm being presented with the choice between acting, and making money. If I weren't in debt, or if I had a reasonable day-job, there wouldn't be a problem. As it is, I don't know how much longer I can do this. God damnit. I need work, and I'm in exactly the wrong place to get it. I really don't want to quit the show, not just because they need me, and because I'm building a name with the director (who's currently also directing Othello, and does a lot of paying work), but because I need to act. But I can't keep sponging off my relatives, for God's sake. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get a job at Denny's: there aren't any other restaurants around, and I need to make more than minimum wage to have a shot at paying off my debt and saving some money too. God-damn it.

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