2001-06-15 - 7:48 p.m.

Well, the second installment of my life is due, and there seems to be a bit to divulge. First off, I think the Truth campaign isn't going to use me: they shoot in 4 days, its been a week, and no word. Oh well (while Patrick's inside voice says "kill kill kill....."). So that's bad. On the plus side, my brother's girlfriend is staying with us for a bit. She is extremely cool and highly nice, and occasionally nicely high. This is a huge change from his ex-, who can be declared psycho both for her intolerant veganism and her handling of her break-up with the bro. His current is vegetarian, which is quite cool. My brother seems a lot happier these days, more at ease with himself. Some of that is from the current, some I think from his realization that our parents knew he smoked cigarettes, and weren't going to disown him. He can now smoke at home, which allows him to see us when he's not insane with nicotine difficiency. Much nicer. Also, our parents (long may they groove) are pretty ok with other forms of smoke, so familial tension is much decreased.

More good news on the career front: the leader of my Improv comedy group has set me up for an audition for a commercial tomorrow. Not a cattle-call, mind you. I, Padraig, meet the casting director at 2:30 tomorrow alone to see if I work for the part. Not bad, amigos. I will be pulling together a pro resume for the Temp agency I'll be working with tonight, and so hopefully they'll be able to send me enough night-work to keep body and soul together. I did some excercise today as well, and I swear that I feel better when I do. Living like a slug makes me feel like one, surprisingly, so I'm just gonna keep active so I don't feel tired all the time. I like living, and don't like the thought of letting precious days flit by in a haze of Diablo II. Not that Diablo II does not rock, far from it. But I do need some time in the sun.

I'm a little worried about my career potential. It's like all the necessary doubts I've been sublimating are starting to come out now. I'm starting to doubt my eventual success. I still believe that I'll get my shot(the universe is way too random to rule it out) but will I be any good when that shot arrives? I need to act again, in a real performance, so I can remember what it feels like to be someone else. I miss that terribly. Commercials can't give me that, but I need the commercials to get camera experience. Oh well, I guess I'll live. :)

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